Be Like Bert

I’ve just returned from a 6 day yoga retreat in Bali – it was bliss. Yoga was held twice a day overlooking the glorious Ubud forests. On our last day we were invited to a ‘farewell ceremony’ where we sat around a flower and candle offering. We were invited to write on a piece of paper something we wanted to ‘let go of’ as part of the ceremony.

This paper was then burnt by the flame of the candle and its ashes placed amongst the flowers (to be later released into a river), it is very beautiful and moving tradition. After the ceremony, as I was talking to the other yoga participants, including husband Albert (aka Uncle Darling), it came to light that the women of the group had thought long and deep about what to write onto the paper.

They had things such as ‘don’t take criticism personally’, ‘don’t replay distressing scenes in my head’, ‘let go of unwelcome comments from work’ – you get the drift. Then we turned to Albert who stated that he wrote ‘don’t eat biscuits in the evening’

What!

When I questioned him later about the depth (or rather lack of) of his writing, he responded ‘I haven’t really got anything I need to let go of’. My god, how fabulous! This is how Albert thinks. ‘I am what I am, I don’t stress about what I am and I don’t think I need to let go of anything’! How enlightening, how liberating! How like Albert!

Next year, when we return to the yoga retreat, I am ready. I’m following Albert’s lead and embrace that idea that I don’t need to let go of a single thing. I am what I am what I am (with or without the biscuits).

My little sister in Bali

Those who know her, would describe Aunty Mod as a bit of a ‘go-getter’; seriously, I believe she was born with my share of energy as well as her own. Now Mod is one busy lady and when she arrived in Bali, several days after my own arrival (I needed a rest before she got there), her list of expectations was very long!

Some list ‘must do’s’ included; trying lots of different Indonesian food, hot-stone treatment, see traditional dance performance, manicure/pedicure, stalk Japanese fashionista tourists (see below), yoga (shoulder stand minimum), site-seeing, shopping…You get the idea.

The item on her agenda which tickled my fancy the most was her tireless efforts in ‘mastering’ the language. Aunty Mod set about learning greetings and general pleasantries in Balinese. But it turned out she was speaking High Balinese and the locals couldn’t understand her. Then she tried common Balinese and ended up with Indonesian (why restrict yourself?). Copious note taking ensued as well as practicing on anyone who stood still long enough to be engaged in conversation, as well as correcting my, albeit pathetic, efforts.

‘Thank you’ is always a good one to know to any language. However we always got a laugh out of the Indonesian ‘terima kasih’, which we pronounced ‘Kerry McCuskey’ aka Aunty Lush. There was much tangling up of the whole she-bang, creating chaos and merriment of many shop-keepers, restaurant staff and me!

Kisses,

Aunty Beads xxx

Wish I’d said that

Why is it only after the event that we usually think of something clever to say? Here are some lines from famous women who wouldn’t mind if you quoted them!

Dolly Parton (pic from inthepinesonfbi.wordpress.com)	“If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.”
J.K. Rowling (pic from ted.com)	“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends.”
Oprah Winfrey (pic from fanpop.com)	“Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am.My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes.”
Eleanor Roosevelt (pic from biographyonline.net)	“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”
Erica Jong (pic from poetryfoundation.org)	“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”
Margaret Thatcher (pic from geektyrant.com)	“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor (pic from voices.yahoo.com)	“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
Marilyn Monroe (pic from news.com.au)	“I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.”
Rosanne Bar (pic from projects.latimes.com)	“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome,but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
Lily Tomlin (pic from biography.com)	“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
Mary O’Leary (pic from flickr.com/yumstudio)	“The only thing you should put in your ear is your elbow.”

For a chance to win a copy of the book ‘Travels with My Aunt’ (Graham Greene) make a comment below with a favourite quote by one of your fabulous female friends – best quote gets the goods.

Waiting for Lush

“Arrgghh”

The Aunties often wait for Aunty Lush, with some fear and trepidation – being in another country just highlighted it…

The day was warm. The Palem Garden Hotel Bali was gleaming. The pool twinkled and waved. It was quiet except for the occasional laughter from outside the gates. The sisters though were wary. It was Aunty Lush arrival day.

The Aunty with six heads, likely in individual suitcases, was due to arrive later that afternoon. She is renown for her ability to party endlessly, look effortlessly made up, and be the world’s most charming host. It was only possible surely with the advantage of having a few extra heads hidden away, and replaced each morning ready to party again.

For the rest of the Aunties (who only had one head each) it meant nothing, for that day was settled. With Lush due in at witching hour, it was the last chance for a dignified calm. The other Aunties have never been able to keep up with Lush. Never despite numerous attempts; solo and in groups.

The Aunties all found ourselves at the poolside bar:

• Aunty Beads laid out under a big umbrella with her magazine, flicking pages unread, unseeing
• Aunty Darling painted her toenails, seemingly oblivious to the change that was coming
• Aunty Verve read her book flipping over pages like a woman possessed
• Aunty Mod, moving through images I had crafted with my camera, nothing settled

The air was thick with expectation, oppressive with anxiety, even the staff seemed to be aware of the tension, glancing awkwardly at the Aunties every few minutes. The clock ticked inexorably on, and on, and on…

A car arrived. The staff scurried to the hotel entrance. Aunty Beads looked over at Aunty Verve and mouthed the words ‘She’s here’. Aunty Darling looked up from her toes and muttered ‘Shit’ under her breath. I just watched the gate, butterflies growing to bumble bees. It seemed to take an eternity.

Finally Aunty Lush rounded the gate, handbag flipped over her shoulder, sunnies on, wide brimmed hat, with five staff in tow with her bags and her daughter. Her face broke into a huge smile, ‘Champagne anyone?’

Heads would roll… How many beers is enough Aunty Beads? There are never enough Aunty Verve!

Here is Aunty Verve when she thought she could handle it… she was wrong…

Bali High?

Dearest Darlings, So the girls have just returned from an adventure in Bali. They have thrown their wet towels and bathers over my head. Then showered me with gifts… of the work variety. They threw me pics and video of their time there while I kept the home fires burning… hmmppfff
Love the Valet

Black Ginger Martini anyone???

On a warm evening in Bali, we went for the usual pre-dinner drinks. We selected a lovely beach-side bar and perused the cocktail list (my nieces’ refused to drink the local brew – Bintang).

‘Hmmm the Black Ginger Martini sounds delicious, what’s in it?’ we asked,

‘Madam, it is a martini with black ginger’ was the well informed and enthusiastic response. ‘Oh.right.great……errrrr we’ll have 6, thank you’

Celebrity-Chef hags!

On Friday night I went to La Luna, a fab restaurant in Carlton (Melbourne) with my hubby and friends Shez & Lizard. Chef Adrian Richardson is renowned for his skills and, now I have met him I can tell you first hand, a great bloke too (subtle name dropping).

As we were seated, Lizard mused aloud ‘I wonder if Adrian is making my dinner tonight’, we all laughed thinking the Celebrity Chef would be out on the town on this cold, Winters night. Drinks were ordered, Lizard went to the bathroom, he returned quickly( practically running) eyes-wide, and hissing at us in a high pitched, school girl squeal….’he’s here, he’s here, look, in the kitchen’ and there he was!

Shez refused point-blank to go and have her picture taken with Adrian, which was a bit rude as we all agreed by unanimous vote, that it was her challenge for the evening. With a sigh I applied fresh lippy and headed towards the bathroom, with Shez in tow, just in case (bathroom very close to the kitchen). Embarressingly we could not find the door, until Adrian pointed us in the right direction. We cheekily asked if he would mind being in a photo, and he graciously agreed, inviting us into the kitchen. ‘Kitchen, you???’ I hear you ask, and whilst unusual, I was happy to make an exception just this once.

We chattered awaywith him for the next 10 minutes or so, what a lovely, lovely man. I can’t actually remember what we talked about, just a tad star-struck. The food was superb, aged beef is the specialty of this establishment, but make sure you leave room for desert, yum!

Lots of love

Aunty Beads xxxx

(or is that Aunty Boobs, seriously my ‘rack’ looks massive in that pic)